how had you been?

How were you ? had you been in a depressed situation lately ? 

Must be tough for you as well , we both work hard for our future to make it better and seems nothing gone well yet. I knew that your family is having so many problems lately but I couldn't really help you out and make you more frustrating.I'm sorry that you need to gone through this but we will work it out together alright ?

Sorry not to be able to let you share all your problems in mind, I knew that I'll always say it out to my parents and make you not believe in me and not telling me anything after everything happens. I might not be the kind of perfect wife that would think of what problems that you're facing and hows your situation. I'm still learning to be a good and understanding wife that could help you out in everything.

You had decided to work your friend area as I'm worried there's something might happen to you and what am I and Xameleen going to do after that...... Thats a lots of things I'm worrying bout you , afraid that one day our relationship is going further and further T^T Its nit easy for us to go through all of this problems that had happens to us. 

I believe that the day will come to us, I'll always love you and Xameleen as i do always and do believe you do the same as I. I believe it'll always been "a rainbow after the rain" . I love you bapier, really do, I'll do my best to make us better in the future and lesser quarrel. 

Emma Mama,

always love you as I do 

superfluous

Hi there ! I think I'm superfluous. 

In your home i think i'm the unwanted person and i'm the invisible one sometimes.

The way we talks to each other always end up with arguing. The way we talk always dislikes by each other no matter what. Sometimes i sees that you and your family could being so happy without me and baby. So that i think i'm the superfluous person in your home. Just like the car , without me you can sit nicely with your family without squeezing the sits for me and baby. There's no need a money to used for me and baby if we didn't exist. The diaper , milk powder , medical fees , foods all of the money we use . if we aren't in a part of your life you might be enjoy your happy life with your family and friends without frustrating and thinks of the problems that you need to think now. 

The way we are argue make me thinks that we won't last . Maybe few years later one of us stand any of us . Neither one of us will say breakups. If that really happens i don't mind and I understand. Give me sometime , just 3 years time if we end up in this way . I'll take baby with me and you can have your life without arguing ,complaining and frustrating. I'll raise her by myself in my ways. 

In my home sometimes i think i'm the unwanted person too but there's the only place that i can really feel a little comfortable a place which still have a little space for me. Afer married, no matter what happens in my house i have no right to talk or give any comments. No matter where a woman goes, she has no places and no right to speak up. The way you guys laugh and smile , wasn't include me and baby. You guys can smile and laugh even though we aren't there. I apologize that sometimes i dislike about your mom. I dunno why. Either just that she makes me feel uncomfortable and make me feel im the superfluous one. Bout your sis, i not dislike her, just that the way she treats mei mei sometimes i really dislike about it. I know that she's still a small kid. I didn't blame her. Her toys , ya its her . She don't wanna share nevermind. I know why she does that, that's why i won't let mei mei reach out of her toys and if mei mei like those i'll buy for mei mei and not touch any of hers. 

I know you dislike of my family too. I understand how u feel and I know why .

LL and VL is really had no manners i know, I live there with them I know their pattern and attitude.

Sometimes i hate them so much too but what can i do i can't speak up now. I'm the outsiders now.

No matter what happens i can't tell bro now, If i tells mom will scold me and warn me not to say anything in front of my bro . So what can I do ? I can't do anything for it. I could only shut my mouth and listen what they say without giving any opportunities. I just don't know how to tell you all of the thing. If i tell you dislike about the thing then you'll ' Just scold them lah, you're their sis , you should teach them'. But can I give a opinion? i can't. 

i'm sorry for all that, i wouldn't be perfect like u taught . 

I'm sorry , no matter your love for me will last long or not.

Mine always will. I love you no matter what. 

Your Wife Emma .

TIME

As time goes by my baby girl is growing fast :) She's 7 months 20 days old now. She could turn over by herself and able to sits baby walker, she starts to learn crawl forward and backward during 6 months old. I have been giving her solid food while she's 4-5 months old because she refuse to drink milk rather than eat solid food. As she's 6 months old her gums started to feel itchy and she started to bite her hand, toys or everything i gave she will put it into her mouth.So i decide to gave her baby bites biscuit and bought some organic grand baby biscuit for her itchy gums. Nowadays i could saw her first tooth is growing.As her tooth is growing her mouth would be more itchy and feel like biting everything especially her hand so i should clean her hand as always. If i didn't the germs will go through her mouth then through the stomach. 

do you saw her tooth ? :) 

this is how the teeth should be growing within following to the ages and months.

my baby is 7 months ++ and she's having her first tooth at the down of the central incisor.
 

to be continue ~ 

day by day

Time pass day by day, I'm living a housewife life now days.

I had gave birth to a baby girl name Xameleen on 6th April 2014. 

I didn't went to college, I didn't continue my college life why ?

I need to take care of my little girl, since i gave birth to her.

I had the responsibility to take care of her no matter how.

Lots of people asked me, will I continue my studies.

I myself dunno either, maybe yes and maybe no.

If i wanna continue studies it will be 2 to 3 years later.

Or maybe i will just work.

During the labor period

It was around 8a.m. i start to feel the paining then I had my breakfast and shower before enter the labor room. My stomach had been paining for 4 hours before i delivering. The pain were extremely pain. I had been given gas to numb my body and given a injection at my butt to reduce the pain. During the pain the nurse were there to keep check on me and they insert their hand into my vagina to know how many cm had it open. They will insert one finger at the first time,then the will insert two to three finger in the second time till they could insert five fingers. After they were able to insert five fingers then the doctor will come and help me to labor my baby.

At the labor time I need to hold at the handle to push my baby out and place both of my leg at the leg holder. During the labor doctor cut my vagina so the baby would be able to come out and after cutting and pushing my baby girl Xameleen was deliver on 6th April 2014, at 13:14 p.m. and her weight was 3.210 kilometer. It was a healthy and beautiful little girl. After finish labor the doctor stitch me up and I could feel the pain when she was stitching it. After giving birth I was so dizzy and feel so weak and I rest at the labor room for two hours. I was glad that my husband was there with me and my family were outside the labor room.

My little baby Xameleen ♥